roadtrips * headtrips * politics

i love hate when a party is so good that people don’t want the photos posted online.

Happy Father’s Day to all the dad’s out there…

With that said, I HATE this holiday. My dad died 2 years ago (June 5, 2009) and 2 weeks later BAM - happy effing fathers day Charlotte…. NOT. Last year I was ok, probably more in shock than ok, but this year i am pissed. And i am not pissed at the holiday, or other dads, or at dad, or any other reason than the fact that I miss him so much and I am an emotional wreck in the month of June apparently. 

And then I do the whole “why me” crap which drives me completely out of my mind because when I hear other people play that card i feel that they are just feeling sorry for themselves… I am such a hypocrite sometimes. But i constantly catch myself wondering why in the heck my dad had to die when we had such a good relationship, and there are so many scumbag dad’s out there that could have met karma instead of my dad meeting a young death. I don’t wish this, even on the crap dad’s, but what a shit card I got dealt.. 

Without him i have to pat my own self on the back (which I am not good at), I have to give my own self advice, and i have to be here feeling alone because he was the ONLY person that understood me 100% without me even having to say anything. Thats what I miss the most. The mutual understanding. Truly.